I’m really having a bit of a hard time pain wise at the moment. Been looking into the neuroscience of pain quite alot, but when 3 days after training you’re still avoiding walking at all costs, and having your boyfriend knead the fuck out of your leg to regain any actual movement (which is in no way sensual, FYI), you start to question just how much it’s worth it.
But then I remind myself of how few things there are in this world that make me feel the way I do with a barbell in my grip; that make me feel powerful, invincible even – for just a few hours… And then ‘worthwhile’ becomes a whole new ballgame and tells the pain to go FUCK ITSELF
I’ve recently re-added some pull work and things like rowing back into my training which I’m determined to follow through with, because I really don’t believe they’re worsening my ‘injury’ as such; yes they’re worsening the pain level but that’s a result of my body’s interpretation of what it should be feeling and not a direct result of an increased injury. I hope that makes sense, it makes sense in my head anyway! I feel like my mind is cheating me right now, I’m stressed so it’s telling me not to train; my leg hurts so it’s telling me not to train or it will get worse – so in turn, my body is listening and reacting in the same way. Almost as if to penalise me for not adhering to this warped cognitive process. i.e. ‘this is going to hurt, so I’m going to tense up and protect myself’, when in reality it’s the muscle tension that’s leading to escalate the pain further.
Despite believing all of that with regards to the origins of the pain though, it certainly doesn’t help when it’s as bad as its been the past few days. So here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day and I can get back to the gym and teach it who’s boss.