Tag Archives: chronic pain

What a hell of a night

My sciatica is on full blast, I think I just have to admit to myself now that the Chiro sessions aren’t working. He’s a lovely man and I know he wants to help, but I’m still in the same amount, if not more, pain. Last night I ended up awake all night, due to the pain deciding to park its ass in my foot. So I have the same endless shooting pain/burning travelling up and down my leg, but now my foot feels like it’s being hit by a brick repeatedly too.

I had to postphone the MRI because of a delay with my health insurance card, but I’m getting it next week, Then I’ll know for sure if anything has improved like he said. But I doubt it 😦

Then, it’s back to the Orthopaedic/surgery route.

I wish I could say that I’m dealing with this okay, but honestly – I’m really, really struggling. Dealing with the PTSD issues daily is one thing, but with this too and also the terrifying thought that it may be forever…. it’s eating away at any hope I had left.

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Gotta keep moving

Trying to get my macros in check again after a bit of a carb overdose these past few months. I’m vegan so if I don’t track my carbs. I can go overboard very easily. I’m down to a 50/30/20 split now but aiming for 40/30/30 – I’ll see how things go. I’m really just eating less convenience food such as Cliff Peanut Bars (my baby!) and more real food. Although I’ve come across the Trek Peanut Butter Bar which is awesome, as it’s Gluten, Dairy and Sugar Free 🙂 Other than that, I generally eat pretty well, I just eat alot! I haven’t eaten chocolate since I was 15 like… Yep, true story.

I’m back to giving Sunwarrior protein a go because it’s so yummy, despite the bloating issues last time. I react to some food quite badly when it comes to my tummy, so I can’t be certain it was the protein and I can’t see anything adverse in it that would have caused it.  Fingers crossed on that score! I made protein cookies today with it too, mixed with oats and almond milk…it was yum yum yum.

Hoping training will start again next week after my next chiro apt. My second MRI is next week too, but I may need to postphone it as I’m getting a new tattoo on Friday…not sure if the MRI would heat that up :/ ? …the internet is telling me bad stories!

The aim is to start feeling leaner as soon as possible, because I’m sick of feeling like a blimp. I can’t control the training side of things right now, but I can control my diet. So lets see how it goes.

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Goodbye squat rack, hello orthopaedic surgeon

To say that last session was a bad idea, would be an understatement.

I wound up in serious pain, to the point where my leg actually locked out so much one night that I couldn’t move it for about 5minutes.  So I decided ‘fuck that neuroscience shit, fuck the physio bullshit’ and I went to my GP.  My GP is amazing and was astounded I had left it over a year to tell him about my back and my scan results; I guess I’d been pulled into the ‘physios are always best’ opinions that had been thrown at me and hadn’t thought to myself ‘who is best qualified to refer me for the best treatment?’.  My GP straightaway referred me to an orthopaedic surgeon and told me I could be a candidate for surgery, but that there are also options such as nerve block injections that may help me.  As I didn’t have health insurance, it was going to take a few months to get my appointment – even though he put it through as ‘urgent’, but thankfully my (amazing) boyfriend came to the rescue and added me to his company insurance so I can go private.

So I’m not too sure what to do training wise now.  For once, I’m actually going to listen and not do any lower body training – mainly because I can hardly walk so it wouldn’t be possible even if I tried.  That said, I can still do upper body conditioning sessions and when the pain eases up I should be able to use the crosstrainer again.

It’s shit that I have to quit doing what I love, but what’s the point in deadlifting 100kg one day if you can’t walk the next?

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Chronic Pain Management

I’m really having a bit of a hard time pain wise at the moment. Been looking into the neuroscience of pain quite alot, but when 3 days after training you’re still avoiding walking at all costs, and having your boyfriend knead the fuck out of your leg to regain any actual movement (which is in no way sensual, FYI), you start to question just how much it’s worth it.

But then I remind myself of how few things there are in this world that make me feel the way I do with a barbell in my grip; that make me feel powerful, invincible even – for just a few hours… And then ‘worthwhile’ becomes a whole new ballgame and tells the pain to go FUCK ITSELF

I’ve recently re-added some pull work and things like rowing back into my training which I’m determined to follow through with, because I really don’t believe they’re worsening my ‘injury’ as such; yes they’re worsening the pain level but that’s a result of my body’s interpretation of what it should be feeling and not a direct result of an increased injury. I hope that makes sense, it makes sense in my head anyway!  I feel like my mind is cheating me right now, I’m stressed so it’s telling me not to train; my leg hurts so it’s telling me not to train or it will get worse – so in turn, my body is listening and reacting in the same way. Almost as if to penalise me for not adhering to this warped cognitive process. i.e. ‘this is going to hurt, so I’m going to tense up and protect myself’, when in reality it’s the muscle tension that’s leading to escalate the pain further.

Despite believing all of that with regards to the origins of the pain though, it certainly doesn’t help when it’s as bad as its been the past few days. So here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day and I can get back to the gym and teach it who’s boss.

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Strength (2) Session

This was my first session back training after a really bad few weeks with PTSD issues kicking my ass, and if I’m honest, I nearly turned back about 5 times on the way there.  But I made it, and I got through it.  My legs felt shaky, so the squats went nowhere fast, and everything just felt ‘off’, but I was determined to finish out the session.

It’s now 3 days later and I’m in a great deal of pain, which it’s very hard not to sink into.  Some of it was the normal DOMS, but now on Day 3, I’m still dealing with the nerve issue that causes this constant pain to sear up and down my leg, no matter what I do to try to ease it.  I wish I could say it’s no worse than it usually is, but it’s much worse.  Training exacerbates it, that’s clear. What I need to figure out over the next while, is whether I can do anything about that.

Lower body Mobility – Lots.

Strength Work 

Front Squats

20kgx5

30kgx5

30kgx5

35kgx5

35kgx5

35kgx5

Step ups with 10kg plate: 4×8 e/s

Plank: 60sec,60sec,30sec

DB Incline Press, Alternate:

7.5kgx8

7.5kgx8

10kgx5x5

Single Arm Rows:22.5kg 4×8

Side Bridging: 3x30sec e/s

DB Bicep Curls 10kg: 5×10

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